August 25, 2025 - by Isaac Abrahams Parenting Notes

Most of us have whispered it: “I thought I had this figured out, but I’m still learning.” Parenting isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence, repentance, and modeling God’s heart at home. In this conversation, we explore how honor grows through relationship, how listening comes before correction, and how our words can nurture instead of nag.

Why This Conversation Matters

Many of us grew up in homes where obedience was demanded without much explanation. We promised ourselves we would parent differently, yet under stress we slide back into familiar patterns. Scripture points us to a better way. When God says, “Honor your father and mother,” He calls parents to model a life worth honoring. Honor grows when our kids know our heart, not from punishments that miss the real story.

From Honor to Understanding

Real honoring begins with relationship. One story tells of a mom who struck her child for arriving late with water. The boy had stumbled in the dark and spilled it. What did he learn? Not wisdom, only fear. James 1:19 gives us a new reflex: be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. Slow down and seek

the why before you correct. Ask real questions and listen for the story behind the behavior.

Another powerful moment came when a listener realized she had grown hard toward her own children. She called them that night to say she was sorry and that she loves them. Our kids don’t need perfect parents. They need repentant ones who keep turning toward them and toward the Lord.

Replacing Nagging With Nurture

Every word to a young child feels like nurture. Over time, repeated frustration twists that same voice into nagging. Some kids even misbehave just to make us talk. The shift is simple and strong: give more attention to what you want to see. Notice and name the good. If “no” doesn’t work, act instead of repeating yourself—lock the door, move the chair, or redirect the behavior without a speech.

One grandmother couldn’t get her grandkids to come straight home after school. Instead of nagging, she offered bananas and a short reading time. Two came the first day, more the next. Quiet, consistent action beat constant words.

“Don’t speak of it… just have bananas and read a book.”

Training That Sticks

Discipline is practice over time, not just punishment. Teaching a preschooler not to push a sibling looks like this: explain clearly, practice briefly, praise quickly, test in small steps, and repeat. When defiance shows, require a simple apology before moving on. It’s patient training that builds self-control and respect.

Simple Ways To Practice This Week

Before you correct, pause and pray: “Lord, help me listen.”

Catch your child doing right and say it out loud.

Keep training sessions short and celebratory. Thirty to sixty seconds of success is enough.

If “no” doesn’t work, act without repeating yourself. Redirect calmly.

Scripture To Sit With

Exodus 20:12 — Honor your father and mother.
James 1:19 — Quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.
Ephesians 6:4 — Bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Proverbs 15:1 — A gentle answer turns away wrath.

Watch the Conversation

These two recordings cover the heart of this message. Watch together as a couple or with a friend and talk about one practice to try this week.

Final Encouragement

Parenting is sanctification. God uses our homes to grow our children and to grow us. Choose presence over perfection, curiosity over accusation, and nurture over nagging. Your steady love will shape tomorrow.